Phray's Holy Sky: CONFUSION

Confusion.

i don't know where the confusion begins. or why it can not end. perhaps it starts with the stairs- because we can not find a first floor apartment in close proximately to Phray's oldest son and daughter in law (who provide respite for Ywi and I) we are bound to our second floor apartment at this time. Each time we must take Phray to an appointment we navigate the stairs in the picture you see below. We gather up the folks in the community and carry him like a pig in a blanket- up and down the stairs; Perhaps THE CONFISION starts with difficulty of our living situation- the carpet, navigating a hoiyer lift through the narrow halls of 700 square feet at best; the inability to access the bathroom to properly bathe Phray; the inability to get the wheel chair through the door frame- the fact there is no money to run the AC in the heat of the summer and we don't trust the duct work here even if we had the funds to do so; the hardness of heart of the landlord's refusal to take up the carpet and lay down linoleum to cut down on the odor and make navigating the lift and the wheelchair easier; Perhaps the confusion starts with the fact that Phray's insurance (Coventry Cares) denied him from the local rehab hospital simply because he is weak although the rehab hospital and staff hospitalist approved him; or that I seem to know more about navigating a system of help, clinical continuity and follow through than those PAID to do so; Perhaps the confusion begins with my own chronic back pain in the form of a pinched nerve at T-4 running straight down the entire right side of my body, leaving only Ywi to do the heavy lifting of his Father. When see his face and I feel so helpless.

FOR IN THIS CASE… DESPITE HIS SHIRT YOU SAW IN THE PREVIOUS POST "SIZE DOES NOT MATTER"… IT REALLY DOES

clarity.

What is clear is God's love throughout the confusion. When we arrive home from the hospital and we run around our complex looking for help from anyone to carry Phray up the stairs to his bedroom- the people come when we call- if they know us or not, of they are Karenni, or American or Hakka or Zo or Zo Mi or Karen or Catholic or Church of Christ or Baptist or Bhuddist or anything else. What is is CLEAR is my 2 1/2 year old son's and 11 year old daughters compassion for a man they have known only eight weeks. This is the work of God's love in our lives. The first time He met Phray in the hospital, my son extended his hand to Phray and held on tight. Now he kisses his head each day and compares diaper sizes and who poops at what times and how often. They are brothers in Christ, one 2 1/2 and one 69. Phray and JJ. Ywi tends to his Father and I tend to JJ. People in the health care world are continuously shocked when say we will not put Phray into a nursing home. I remember five years ago when I stopped working. I could no longer bear to allow someone else to raise my children. No more than Ywi can bare to give his Father's care to a stranger.

Clarity comes in the form of miracles. He nearly died twice in the hospital. When Phray arrived home over 6 weeks ago. He could not swallow. He was completely paralyzed. He now swallows and is no longer paralyzed. He ate by mouth for the first time two days ago without choking with the assistance of "Thick- It". Phray has times of lucidity and times of being completely infantile. He vacillates between memories of yesterday and years ago- he lives in the world and he lives in the sky. He was so clear in the hospital when he said to me through Ywi interpreting…

"When I am better, I want to go to the church with you and your son together every week"

For now Ywi and I will do the best we can to seek clarity and remain focused and straight despite the confusion- we do our best to live in the sky. We ask your continued prayers for our families daily, here and abroad as we remember yours.

the stairs

the lift. the carpet. the hallway. the bathroom- in the back.

phray waits for team of volunteers to help carry him upstairs before the storm

size matters "sometimes"

Say Reh, Ywi (Karenni) and Friend (Karen) help get Phray back in bed after trip to hospital

the amazing and talented Joe from Medical Center Home Health team who helps us every time! Thank you Joe

Ywi's words: "I wish I was big like Joe and I can just carry my Dad anywhere, every time, then I am so happy! "

sad realities of food systems and healthcare in the US

Natalie and Phray have a thumb war- she has a true servant's heart- the gentlest person I know next to Ywi : )

Father Joseph Breen of St. Edwards Catholic Church in Nashville, TN where a large Burmese community worships- Father Breen reminds us each Mass how fortunate we are as Americans to be born into a country where water and food are in abundance and how lucky we are to be born into a country where we can access these basic needs and these ought to be God given to ALL people but as Americans we forget these are NOT and we shall always be mindful of those with us here and abroad that struggle daily for simple basics of life. Blessings of material are to share, he always reminds us.