Vocation & Discernment

VOCATION has been painful for me. My vocation is SOCIAL JUSTICE, SERVANT LEADERSHIP. No matter the population or the circumstance, the overarching common denominator of my life has been a deep compassion for people. 

INTUITION guides my every waking moment and directs each step of my day. A STILL SMALL VOICE of God consciousness, ever wrought with a gamut of emotions and waves of inspirations of ideas that will never come to fruition, but never the less I am compelled to speak them out and send them on the way into birth of a potential reality, no matter who executes the outcomes.

As people of God, we each CREATE by speaking out those possibilities swimming in our minds. We each create as we connect and share those possibilities  however big and however small. Take solace in the confusion, knowing that GOD The Father Almighty created our hearts and souls and bestowed our intellect. That he knew us, yet even before we were formed. He sees our beginnings and endings and every middle, in between.  

Much like Phray's transient state of infantile mentation and his full formed personality, I am living above the world and end the world. It is a state of confused joy with a deep reliance on God to bring me smoothly through the transitions- I rely on him to integrate my being and the blessings he has given me providence over. Blessings of my children and of leadership and of being an example of his LOVE.  

APRIL 10th, 2014 after months of inner turmoil I could not explain and questioning of why the structures I had dedicated myself were falling apart, personally and professionally, I responded to a call for service. When in pain, help another person. This method is tried and true and it never fails. 

I was asked by a friend to tend to Phray in the hospital. I knew nothing of his situation and myself was grief stricken over certain circumstances of my life. In a state of complete dependance on my Holy Father and Holy Mother, I responded as I always do where Karenni people are concerned. I had only minimal knowledge of who Phray was. Two years earlier I watched him prepare a chicken for the Karenni cultural practice of "divining" chicken bones (more on this later). I recalled watching him gently and slowly crush the chicken in the hallway of the apartment of my friend- the apartment across the hall from the one where I now I live. I remember watching his calm. I remember watching the calm of the chicken. I remember the experience two years prior of seeing an old man's gentle spirit as he absorbed himself in a culture as ancient as the Gong and as solid as the matured Bamboo stands from which he came. I remember seeing the cross hanging from his neck.  
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The last five years of my life has been dedicated to the Karenni people (along with support to other groups of native ethnic groups from Burma (now called Myanmar), Somalis and those from Congo and Tanzania). I helped to establish the Burmese Ministry at Holy Spirit Catholic church here in Bowling Green, under the direction and supervision and partnership of Rev. Father Steve Hohman and Rev. Father Jerry Riney. 

A new convert myself in 2005, I began to understand my vocation to the fullest extent ONLY in recent months. God's work and my drive to be his arms and legs for social justice has reached far into our Bowling Green community. This reach began with the formation of a small social justice ministry called CEDARS (Center for development Acculturation and Resolution Services). Big dreams and high hopes led my vision for CEDARS and was the energy source for my inspirations and aspirations. CEDARS gained volunteers, support and respect and even secured a grant in partnership with our local University, issued by Catholic Charities- which houses the Kentucky Office for Refugees. The programs started by CEDARS had a dramatic and lasting effect on how the international community is treated more justly here in our town. This is evidenced by what can be called "the ripple effect". 

Some months ago, I began to hear a very powerful call in the moments just before the Eucharist. I heard Our Lord tell me to continue assisting the Karenni people and all those who asked my help, no matter the cost, no matter the uncertainty of worldly survival (i.e. a 9a-5p JOB). Answering this call has been a source of constant fear, guilt. I used the measures of success in the world as an inaccurate method to judge the validity of His call in my heart. Despite the circumstances  of my life, pointing toward this more worldly path, I listened, I heard, I felt, I watched. And on April 10th, 2014- Discernment ended- He revealed the mysteries of His call to my heart. 

GOD SPEAKS SLOWLY AND QUIETLY OVER A PERIOD OF TIME


WE NEED TO PATIENTLY LISTEN IN ORDER TO HEAR THE MESSAGE

BEING PATIENT AND HAVING GOOD LISTENING SKILLS 
IS SOMETHING THAT WE NEED TO WORK AT EVERYDAY.

GOD HAS AN IMPORTANT TASK FOR EACH OF US. HE OFFERS US THE ABILITY TO NOT ONLY RECIVE HIS GRACE BUT ALSO PARTICIPATE IN THE CREATION PROCESS.WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO HEAR WHAT GOD IS ASKING US AND UNDERTAKING THAT TASK. 

"LORD I AM NOT WORTHY THAT YOU SHOULD ENTER UNDER MY ROOF"